Ephesians 4:25-5:2 August 12, 2012
For a few weeks, I have been doing an exercise which I like to call the “Smile Experiment.” When I am out in public, and have an occasion to intersect with another person, I deliberately look them in the eyes, smile, and even sometimes, say hello.
Now, I know that this is New England, and there is a particular shyness around this kind of thing--greeting a stranger. It’s not just New England. Last Monday, I declared “Official Smile at a Stranger Day” on my facebook page, and my Canadian friend in Alberta (who is a woman of the cloth, but Episcopalian immediately replied that greeting a stranger on the street is unnerving, and my Aunt Helen in Texas said it’s Smile at a Stranger Day every day in Texas. I only had five people like the idea, and pretty much the comments were between my Canadian friend and Texan aunt about why Canadian’s are startled by friendly smiles.
Suffice it to say, It’s been interesting to observe people’s reactions.
For example, on my morning walk (without the dogs--I forgot to say my experiment had to have no distractions. My dogs are so adorable that usually people will smile at them or look at their goofy smiles. Not that I am biased, but it’s true.)
So back to my morning dog-less walk. I walk along a greenway that follows the turns and curves of the Mystic River. I pass a good many joggers and walkers on the path. The first hurdle is to actually catch someone’s eye. It’s not as easy as you think--we are all programmed, I think, to pretend not to see one another as we pass each other by--probably out of respect for the mutual self-consciousness we have about passing by stranger without greeting them, so we pretend not to see one another. It’s a strong urge--and I have to even fight it within my own smiley self.
Upon successful eye contact, I have to be quick with the smile, because I figure that I have about a millisecond before the person jerks their eyes away to focus on the sidewalk. After the smile, my gut tells me on whether to say hello or not. Usually after having recognized someone with a smile, the startled person hurries along, but sometimes I get a “hi” in; and sometimes, actually most of the time, the smile is returned. And so is the greeting.
So, why the experiment?
Last week, Debbi talked about the movie theatre massacre in Aurora, and in spite of the terror and the unspeakable horror of that event, how random acts of kindness began to bubble up. Strangers were kind to strangers, sharing popsicles and buying dinner for others, and more. Then, while many of us were siting in church last Sunday, there was the attack on the Sikh temple in Wisconsin, generated by a young man with ties to neo-Nazism. Both of these shootings were premeditated--they weren’t random acts of violence, but perpetrated by two people seemingly on the fringe of society with definite deep seated issues and illnesses.
And I have been thinking, you know, life is too short, too unpredictable, too precious to think of people that I don’t know as strangers. We spend too much time regarding others as Other, instead of recognizing the humanity in each soul our life crosses by. So, I decided to start being more deliberate and intentional in recognizing those I pass by as living, breathing, beloved children of God with promises and disappointments and stories as big and special and poignant as the stories I carry with me, in my internal universe. Because, I really and truly and fervently believe that the more we see one another as sisters and brothers in this our earth home, that the energy generated can only help our broken and bruised world.
And, as someone who embraces the identity of Christian, I am called to live a life that is different, and yes, countercultural.
Our text today is calling a particular church in Ephesus to a code of conduct, because they are “members of one another.” Paul exhorts the Ephesians to only use words that are useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear.”
May your words be a grace...
Imitate God... Live love the way Christ did...
It’s a beautiful text, reminding the Ephesians of who they are , and why they are.
Or, as one of my colleagues remarked, Paul is basically saying, "Act like Jesus and don't be a jerk"
Or, rather, as Brian McLaren, Christian author and blogger, said in his HuffPo piece, “Fertile Summer for Violence,
Or, rather, as Brian McLaren, Christian author and blogger, said in his HuffPo piece, “Fertile Summer for Violence,
"We are increasingly faced with a choice, I believe, not between kindness and hostility, but between kindness and nonexistence."
The stakes are high - Kindness as not just "nice", it is life or death. For churches, for our nation, for the world....
The stakes are high - Kindness as not just "nice", it is life or death. For churches, for our nation, for the world....
Life or death. We are called to take Love to the streets in our everyday lives. But it’s not easy. I guess that’s obvious. I know you won’t believe it, but I am extremely introverted. I am happy as a clam to keep to myself, read a book, daydream, be quiet...rather than put myself out there. I also rather enjoy cursing at bad drivers when I am out in traffic (you already know that about me.)
So I have to push myself, with this kindness thing, because I truly believe we are called to share the Love we experience with others--in our actions and the way in which we live our lives.
The other day, I was in the grocery store to quickly pick up just three things. It was pretty quiet, so I actually got in line with a real checker. There was a couple in front of me, and they just had a bottle of water to pay for. The checker, however, was taking her time with the order, and the three of them were bantering back and forth, and I was thinking, come on already! I got a little irritated, and when it was my turn, I was brusque and didn’t look at her, and then a little whisper in my heart said, “What about your smile experiment?” and I sighed. I looked up at her, and when she handed me my receipt, I looked her in the eyes, and smiled, and said Thank You. Have a really good day.
And you know what? She smiled back.
And in that moment, a spark of Christ-love energy was born into the world.
Jesus said that whenever we give a cup of cold water to a stranger, visit the prisoner in jail, clothe the naked, listen to a small child, we are loving him.
I would propose that Jesus, if he were here now, in our world, would add to that list, “every time you smile or recognize a stranger as a fellow traveler in life, you have seen Me.”
There is a hindi word, “Namaste”. Many of you know the meaning, especially if you have been to a yoga class, because they all seem to end with this word. When you say, “namaste” to someone, you are saying, The God in me sees the God in You.” For me, a smile, a greeting, is my namaste--The God in me sees the God in You.”
On Thursday evening, I took the dogs out for their late afternoon walk. I had plenty of time, so we spent about an hour wandering through the neighborhood. At one point, I looked up, and there was this tiny, wizened, snow white haired woman leaning against her trash barrels, looking at me. Not the dogs, ME. I looked away, and looked back again, and she locked in on my eyes. She smiled at ME, and waved, and said hello.
In that smile, I saw God, smiling at me.
Amen.