Wrestling Shadows

Wrestling Shadows
Genesis 32: 24-32
OT19A
Rev. Karla Jean Miller July 31.2011 Eliot Church of Newton(UCC)



What do you dream of?
You know, if you could have just one dream, one wish, one dreamy item on your bucket list that would have to be a miracle to come true?
Mine is becoming a rock star for a night, like Madonna, or better yet, Lady Gaga, and sing and dance for thousands in concert. Just once. Just one set.
It’s a silly dream, but it’s honest, too.
Do you have a secret aspiration?

Jacob was man of dreams. He had aspirations.
But he was also one of the Bible’s greatest liars and cheats. Do you remember him?


Jacob is the twin that swindled his brother out of his birthright, and then cheated him of his blessing. He had to run for his life, because Esau swore that the next time he saw Jacob,
he would kill him.

After he could travel no longer, Jacob stopped in a certain place which appeared to be in the wilderness,
as he took one of the stones of that place
and put it under his head. He fell asleep, and then dreamt a fabulous dream of angels and ladders and God standing next to him, offering the promise made to his ancestors. That he would be successful in owning land, and that he would have many children, so many that his descendants would be as plentiful as the dust of the earth. Finally, God promises to be with him and protect him, and bring him home one day.
When Jacob awoke in the morning, he was awed, and he named his dreaming place Beth-el, or, “House of God”. He then built an altar, and decided to join up with God---making a conditional vow by saying that If God would really be with him, and protect him, and provide for him, then the Lord, his father’s God, would also be his God.

A vow of a true wheeler dealer.

And yet, this dream becomes Jacob’s destiny--the first part of it, anyway.
Jacob perceived that God’s blessing was in gaining what every ancient longed for: flocks, crops, and kids. Without these, there was no hope of success. No hope for Life.

And so his blessed life goes. Jacob became very rich, but it was always by his own means, conniving and planning--not through remembering God’s promise to be with him, or remembering his own conditional vow. No, for the next 15 years of so, there is really no mention of any God encounter for Jacob.

There is much mention, however, of his testy relationship with his shrewd Uncle Laban. They argue and doublecross each other over livestock and wives. His wives quarrel over child-bearing and his attentions, and food.

In the midst of family tensions, Jacob fathered many children and grew so wealthy that Uncle Laban no longer regarded him with favor, but rather, openly began to hate him, and plot against him. Jacob decided it was time to hoof it out of there, before something bad happened to himself. He conveniently remembered God’s promise to be with him and return him to his homeland, so he made a case for this promise to his family. The Lord would protect them. And so, Jacob packed up his children and wives, camels and goats, his riches and tents and servants and they flee from Laban.


This is where we meet Jacob today, in our text.
Running away from Laban, whom he cheated, and running toward Esau, whom he also cheated.
Jacob is afraid, for once in his life.
He has just learned that his brother is coming toward him with an army of 400.
He has already sent his wealth of livestock away from him,
and then, Jacob sends his sends his children and wives across the river, along with his riches and servants, so that they might be safe.

And Jacob was alone.
He was back at the beginning of his journey,
in the evening,
with nothing,
not even a stone for pillow this time.
Afraid and distressed. Stripped of everything he has been, everything he has gained, everything he has acquired,
a stranger meets him in the shadows,
and they struggle all night long.
Neither seem to win,
although the stranger has injured Jacob’s hip.
But Jacob won’t let go.
Just as the day he was born, holding the heel of his twin brother,
Jacob won’t let go of this stranger,
because he realized he had been wrestling the Divine,
and this time,
he isn’t dreaming.
He has faced himself,
and struggled with God,
and he, as only Jacob would do,
demanded a blessing.

Oddly enough, God obliges,
by first asking Jacob’s name.

Names in antiquity, and in the Bible, carried weight. They revealed one’s character. Jacob’s name, literally, meant “heel”, for he was born holding tight to his brother’s heel. And he was a “heel” in life, too....for his deep nature was always holding tight, living from his guts and cunning, being untrustworthy, his wealth attained by questionable actions. To admit his name to God was to admit who he was at the core. A cheater. A scoundrel.

And yet,
the Divine one, knowing all of this, doesn’t see Jacob as a heel. God offers the grace of a new name.
Israel. Literally, God wrestler.
And Jacob is changed, transformed forever,
by this encounter with God,
face to face, in a holy tussle,
and he has a new life,
a new way of being.
His injury will always remind him of who and whose he is.

You see, Jacob was visited by God in his dream of angels and ladders,
and through questionable means, he gained the first part of God’s blessing--crops, flocks, and kids....but the real and true blessing came in his struggle with God,
his willingness to take on the holy,
to meet the holy,
to wrestle, and even be injured in the process.

I think that in those moments of being stripped down to nothing,
Jacob realized that he wasn’t blessed at all,
and his struggle with God all night long was his process of working through his regrets, and his process of truly meeting God for the first time, with his questions, his rage, his self-loathing, his isolation,
with all of his heart, all of his mind, all of his body, and all of his soul.

In the shadows,
God comes to him,
and instead of defeating him,
gives him a new identity.


Sometimes, for me, and I suspect for many of us,
We live our lives semi-unconsiously. We have our dreams and aspirations, our road-maps, and we follow them to the best of our ability. I am grateful that I am not a scoundrel and a cheat, but that doesn’t make me any better than Jacob. I have my own short-fallings that threaten the presence of God--the real presence of God in my life. We all do. And we walk around with the appearance of being fully blessed--like Jacob. The blessings are different--a good education, family, friends, homes, overflowing with abundance and richness in our hearts.

But how often do we wrestle with God, at our very core?

It is a holy and risky thing to take on wrestling with the Divine. It can hurt.
And yet, when we face ourselves, in the presence of God, and wrestle with our nature, with the parts of ourselves we long to be transformed,
God will never defeat us. God will work with us, and we might get a little bruised, but God’s grace will change us, and transform us.

So, a little dreaming is good.
And so is a little bit of wrestling, too.

May we be blessed with dreams and struggles
so that we might see God face to face, and live.
Amen.